The Big Guy and Mama J constantly make fun of my Dish Washing Methodology^tm.  Even Auntie Willie^® (New nickname for The Wife’s Aunt!  Thanks NAN! yay) chimes in.  You’d think she’d be all so happy to have me scrubbing her dishes on Thanksgiving night, but instead, she’s standing there ribbing me because in Cabo, I asked her to take my white linen shirt off so it wouldn’t get stained.  I guess that was an odd request for Auntie Willie^®, who by the way made the best Dutch Apple Pie I’ve had. The Big Guy will wait until I have the clean sink water at the perfect temperature and then stick a dirty dish in the water, soiling it completely.  He once said that if I continued to clean his dishes, he’d have to buy new one’s because I would have cleaned them to the bone.  I disagree – you can’t clean dishes that much.  Other times, he’ll walk over in the middle of cleaning and stick a dish with food on it in the dish washer. Let me be clear, dishwashers are mis-named.  They should be called “Dish Sanitizers” because that’s what they do.  They don’t get the food off – I don’t care what anyone says.  The wife just rolls her eyes at the discussion.

Note: If you’re looking for a new Dish Sanitizer, go with Hobart.  It’s not pretty, but it’s the way a Dish Sanitizer should be.

Hobart Under Counter Dish "Sanitizer"

Lately, I’m feeling a little bad for The Wife.  She’s been getting in trouble for a lot of things around the house.  Here’s a few examples of my wrath:

1. She’ll often stick things like wine bottle toppers, spoons and forks, and other small items in the sink where the disposal lives.  After an evening of use, these items will almost always find a home in the disposal.  After a heavy night of entertaining, I’ll conclude my Dish Washing Methodology^tm by turning on the disposal, only do listen to sounds like she put a body in down the sink.  I’ll just shoot her a glare and go the Mud Room for some quiet time.
2. Donnie Boom Boom was in town last week and he asked for the strawberry jam.  When he opened it, there was peanut butter mixed in with it because when The Wife makes a PB&J sandwich, she uses the same knife for the peanut butter and the jam.  Mud Room Cool Off Time.
3. I have this new obsession with drying out the sink when I’m done doing the dishes.  I’ll often spend a lot of time drying it, then walk into another room, only to hear the sink running in the kitchen.  I’ll walk back in and there she is running the sink to wash her hands.  I think to myself, “Isn’t there a bathroom for that?”  Again, Mud Room Cool Off Time.
4. A couple of weeks ago, The Wife’s advertising agency needed to burrow some of my swimming trunks for a video shoot.  Now, when I heard this, I thought “Nice. They’re going to display them and film them with some words over them and some other items for the commercial”.  I pulled my best three pair of board shorts and tied the strings really nicely for display.  The next day, The Wife sent me an email picture from the video shoot. I thought it was a pretty cool picture.  That is, until I noticed A good pair of green Hurley Boardshorts were being sported by some young chap riding a wave.  I was Frerking (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) furious.  Once more, Mud Room Cool Off Time.

This is just a glimpse – it’s getting worse too.  The latest occurrence happened last night.  The last post, I mentioned I took a business trip to Las Vegas.  While I was there, I stayed with my good pal, Mike of Mike and Jersey Jen (from Michigan).  On Mike’s coffee table was a 944 Magazine and there, on the cover was the most beautiful angelic figure I’d seen since our wedding night.  That good looking woman turned out to be none other than My Girl, Giada De Laurentiis.  As many of you know, I have a Kitchen Crush on her.  While The Big Guy and Mama J were in town last week, I wanted to show the magazine article to The Big Guy, as I knew he too was a fan.  I asked The Wife where the 944 Magazine was and she replied that she had taken it to work to show one of the partners.  Reaching boiling point…

…And to the Mud Room, I do retire…

944 Magazine Cover - Giada de Laurentiis

But it gets even worse.  Last night, as The Wife had returned from work, she thought I would be happy to have my Lovely back.  Don’t get me wrong, I was super excited.  But then, I noticed that the top corner of the cover of the magazine had a crease on it.  Holding back a nuclear fallout explosion, I calmly asked about it and she mentioned the partner had accidentally bent it when he was transporting it.  I’m not sure why it wasn’t taken out on a flatbed dolly.  At any rate, I just came out of the Mud Room.

Speaking of peanut butter and My Girl, Giada De Laurentiis, she and my other favorite freakshow author, Jen Lancaster, have some new competition.  While I was in Las Vegas, Mike of Mike and Jersey Jen (from Michigan) introduced me to his cousin, Eric and Eric’s wife, Julie.  Might I say, they were the most pleasant company.  Julie just happens to have a blog about cooking & baking.  Everything looks delectable!  Check it out at http://www.peanutbutterandjulie.com!

I’d like to share a letter I wrote to the President and CEO of Southwest Airlines:

Dear Gary:

I still feel funny writing “Dear”, especially to a Travel Czar such as yourself. Sorry, shouldn’t call you Czar – that’s not always a good label. Travel Genius? I feel like something a little more hard is the way to start it. Maybe how wrestlers greet each other by smashing chairs over each others heads. But then, you wouldn’t be President & CEO anymore, so maybe we should just stick to “Dear Gary.” I’m rambling.

I’m writing you because I’m positive that you rarely get fan mail, rather scathing ones lighting you up because you’re running what some out there call the “Greyhound of the skies”. I, however, disagree – other than the quality of some of the passengers at times – especially those coming out of Las Vegas. I love Southwest. I like the fact that if I’m on my game, I can get A-Priority seating and take the left hand aisle seat in row 6. I prefer it there because I’m off the plane quick when we land, although the lady that just sat next to me going to Seattle was a Boeing Flight Tester and she said you’re safer over the wings. Usually, the first three rows are the biggest disasters on the plane, so rows 4 & 5 shield me a little from the madness. I especially appreciate you changing the ABC Cattle Call loading to a numbered ABC system. Flights have been a little more pleasant since those days. I almost fist-punched a guy at McCarran because he got in my face when he thought I was moving to the front of the line, when I was just using the split railing to balance my dinner. I’m rambling again.

Mike and Jersey Jen (from Michigan) always give me crap because we tend to have a crazy travel schedule. Well in honor of them, I decided to accept the invitation to stand in the Woods wedding in Denver the same weekend as the annual March of Dimes Signature Chefs event in Las Vegas. Here’s the kicker. The rehearsal dinner was on Friday night and the Bride was insistent that I be there for the rehearsal since two of the groomsmen were not attending the rehearsal. That would have left Frameo alone up there and that’s never a good thing because he gets into trouble. But, the wedding was actually on Sunday evening and with the Signature Chefs event on Saturday, I naturally thought it wise to fly to Las Vegas in between the dinner and wedding. It made sense to me, the groom seemed OK with it, but I think the Bride was pretty irritated about it. Probably not because I was flying somewhere in between, but because I was specifically flying to Las Vegas.

My flight out of Spokane arrived in Denver at 3:00, about a half hour late, which happens, so I was OK with it. Sunday was the day I was worried about anyway. The church was beautiful, nestled into the lower mountains in Genesee. October in the Colorado Rockies is amazing, but that was offset by a psycho wedding planner who threatened to keep the contract deposit if anything went wrong. Dinner was great – a little cabin set ona river in Evergreen. The Bride and Groom were happy and told great stories, especially one involving Frameo giving Scott the “Anal Cleaning Bug” for housekeeping, but seemed to be mis-interpreted by everyone in the room including his 80 year old grandpa who was very with it. I stayed the night at D-Train’s and hit the airport early on Saturday morning.

The 8 AM flight out of Denver to Las Vegas went smooth as can be and before I knew it, I was eating breakfast at Harry’s Bagelmania, a Jewish bagel shop in the Las Vegas ghetto. They’re really mean to you there – the kind of mean that keeps you coming back for more. Afterward, we did a little shopping and then off to the event. Signature Chefs is incredible. 30 Chefs from the Las Vegas Strip, you couldn’t possibly eat like that in one trip let alone one night. The food was as promised – exquisite. The March of Dimes folks are always appreciative of our help and hosted a table for me, so I naturally brought down The Big Guy and Mama J, UG & Aunt Julie and invited, of course, Mike and Jersey Jen (from Michigan) and LW (Liberty Wright). I ate like a king and then back to bed, early to rise for another ride back to the airport.

Signature Chefs of Las Vegas

The 7 AM flight out of Las Vegas, back to Denver, was the one that counted. When we hit the runway, 5 minutes before the scheduled take-off, I toyed with the idea of sending a text message stating I was in jail and detoxing. Then I remembered The Wife and Miss King on their wedding days (the perfect Brides!) and thought, “better not wake a sleeping dog”, right? I arrived 30 minutes early to my delight and had enough time to hit some of my favorite Denver sites before heading up to the wedding. The wedding was awesome, except the pastor spoke about 20 minutes too long and the flagstone floor we were standing on was killing us. Plus the psycho wedding planner told us that people fainted up there all the time, so I was worried that would be me. Court (Bridesmaid) had to sit down it was so bad! The reception was great and everyone enjoyed themselves. It was at this nice Lake House in Evergreen.  There were elk grazing on the golf course.  Everyone was surprised I had been gone and back.

Evergreen Lakehouse

The noontime flight out was a little rough. The pilot did a great job of getting the plane, which was going every direction but straight, up above the clouds. Just about when I saw the space shuttle was when it subsided. It was smooth sailing all the way back to Seattle, then to Spokane. Which leads me to say, I’m sorry you didn’t get the merger deal with Frontier and that they sold to Republic. That made a lot of sense to me – sell to a company that doesn’t have any experience flying long routes and jet planes. But hey, they were thinking of their employees, right? No matter, you’ll buy them for about 25 cents on the dollar next year when they can’t afford gas.

Give this guy a raise:

Thanks again for being so reliable,

Word.

Ash Boodel

P.S. From The gUrt:

Mr. Gary.

Thanks for allowing dogs on your planes now. If you only had direct flights out of Spokane, my dad would fly me places. Maybe when you buy Frontier next year, that’ll allow me travel. I bet you smell good.

The gUrt
HoganVizsla @ Gmail . com
Send Me A Bone!

Well, as you can see, another day another dollar! Until next time…

Mike & Jersey Jen (from Michigan) and LW (Liberty Wright) visited Spokane.  We loaded up Uncle Greg’s Dodge Mega Cab Pickup and headed down to Walla Walla, Washington.  The ladies sat comfortably in the back and solved all the worlds’ problems, while the boys (Mike, The gUrt & I) took care of both the driving as well as creating some entirely new problems for the world.  We stopped at a couple wineries and joined by The Big Guy and Mama J, we hit T. Maccarone’s for some amazing dinner.  After that, we headed back to Spokane for a tour of the city.  I think they enjoyed it, but I don’t think they’ll be moving there anytime soon.  Mike would have to gamble at The Northern Quest – which is a little low-brow for him.  Jersey Jen (from Michigan) would have to take on a new accent.  LW, on the other hand would probably do very well here.

Scott and Louise Robertson took a 6 month (exaggerating) sabbatical in New Zealand (not exaggerating).  They came back super refreshed and with some amazing photos of the scenery.  You’d better Friend him on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/theoneandonlyscottrobertson/) if you want to see those pics!  I highly recommend you do – the pictures are Frerking (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) Incredible! Here’s a sample:

A New Zealand Local

Tiff and Troy-boy (PEMF) visited from Boise.  We spent the weekend relaxing at the lake and around the City.  Hogan snuck into the shower with Tiff to get a peek (that’s my boy), while Troy-boy hit the neighborhood garage sale event.  He is the proud owner of two Mac computer screens now.  I think Tiff thought he was losing his mind.  I was in full support of his purchase, down to the packaging of said screens for the said return to Boise.  Troy-boy also started guest blogging on Eric Selvig’s running website, One Runner’s Brain.  If you’re into running, there are some good laughs.  I’m not a runner, so I don’t get the jokes.

I took about a 10 day trip to Denver to see family and friends.  I think I saw everyone I probably could have, with exception of The Frameos and Worleys.  Ryan Arnold’s group, The Denver Active 2030 Children’s Foundation put together a great charity event called Keeping Kids On Track.  It was really successful and was co-sponsored by the Denver Bronco’s Cheerleaders.  D-Train and I helped out with the website (www.keepingkidsontrack.org) as well as attended the event and helped out.  We met all the cheerleaders.  That’s a true test of my love for The Wife.  I had some of the most beautiful ladies around me and we’re still together!  I did hang out with Romi Bean a little bit – she’s my favorite!  Ryan’s Dad, Gar-Dog was there too.  We were helping the cheerleaders with their helmets and he kept smacking them on the head to see if the helmets fit.  Only Gar-Dog could get away with that.  Big ups to Ryan and Katie Kosters for their hard work and raising $20,000 from the event!

Denver Bronco's Cheerleader Romi Bean
(My new friend!)

We spent several weekends at Uncle Greg and Aunt Julie’s cabin in Coeur d’Alene and The gUrt learned to swim.  We even took a jet-ski and kayak ride.  He’s a new dog now – loves the water!  I know you don’t believe me, but I’ll post some proof – pictures of course, but I have to get them from Aunt Julie.

Ryan and Taylor visited Spokane.  It was a great weekend.  We trucked on down to Walla Walla, Washington and did some wine tasting.  My new favorite is Rulo Winery.  It was harvest season and crush time and Rulo’s owners, Kurt & Vicki Schlicker were so gracious.  They gave us tours of the property and showed us the crush procedures.  If you find yourself in Walla Walla, I highly recommend visiting them (www.rulowinery.com).  After Walla Walla, we headed back to Spokane and showed them the City as well as Coeur d’Alene.  We took them to Isabella’s Gin Joint (INCREDIBLE) and then headed to Zola afterward.  Zola a great place – it’s seats on the upper level are reclaimed Tilt-A-Whirl seats.  They don’t spin though – probably because of all the drinking.

Rulo Winery - The Best Winery in Walla Walla

Finally the Family visited over Labor Day weekend.  It was a great time – the usual tour to Coeur d’Alene (seeing a theme here?) and the City.  It was a great weekend and I think Bab’s is ok with the move.  I was worried that they wouldn’t like Spokane.  I don’t think Chris (brother) liked it as much, but he like’s traveling anyway.  He’s still mad we left Las Vegas,  He definitely wasn’t fond of The gUrt.  I think that Hogan was a little active for him.  When the Fam left, Hogan seemed to take on some bad habits.  I’m thinking that Bab’s might have spoiled him a little bit.  Imagine what she’d do to kids!  Just kidding, I’m a SAHDiNK!

Finally I did a good dead.  I bought a new pair of shoes.  Now, how is that a good dead?  Well, they are a pair of Tom’s Shoes.  Mama J and The Wife found them in a little store in Walla Walla.  Tom’s Shoes has a nice treat to it – every pair of shoes you buy, they give a pair of shoes to a child in need.  So you’re not only buying something totally cool for you, but you’d doing something for someone else.  I love the idea and the shoes? They’re awesome – so comfortable and travel friendly!  I looked at another pair that I secretly wanted, but when I showed them to the girls, they made fun of them.  They were a sort of slip on shoe, but they had anchors all over them.  It was a nice nautical theme.  The girls thought it was a little bit flamboyant.  So I bought the other pair and I wear them all the time!

Secret First Pick - Nautical Theme

The Runner Up - Still love them!

Well, that’s it for now.  Some good stories to come soon – including Canada. (Sorry about the delay G-Loyal)

• AirAmerica: Housewives Smuggling Illegal Soap into Spokane

First, I’d like to thank AirAmerica for including my sort – the SAHDiNK – by referring to the househusbands along with the housewives in this article.  I must tell you how frustrating it is to read article after article about stay at home types and only see the word “wife” in conjunction with the word “house”.  I find it oh so offensive and commend AirAmerica for standing up for The HouseHusband.  Now, yes, this soap smuggling seems to be a big controversy.  To the point that I overheard The Early Show discussing the issue on national television while working in my home-office.  Yes, Mike & Jersey Jen (from Michigan) – I overheard the TV in the family room while I was working in the office – I wasn’t watching.  The issue seems to be that the Spokane River has become an endangered river because of industrial dumping.  I don’t get it.  I was at the Spokane Falls last week and it looks rather clean to me.  I didn’t see garbage floating or oil seeping from the water.  It looked pretty fresh to me – I would swim in it if it weren’t traveling at 1,000 miles an hour – though it might be fun to try to tube it at least once. I’m rambling

For those of you who have inquired about this issue, I’m here to set the record straight.  We are NOT smuggling  illegal dishwasher detergents into Spokane.  Let me repeat my self: We are absolutely, unequivocally NOT smuggling in Electrosol Finish^® All in 1 PowerBall^® Tabs – Fresh Scent dishwasher detergent, even though it is far superior to the Palmolive Eco-Friendly brand we bought that doesn’t Frerking (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) work worth a lick.

Now that that’s settled, I thought I’d tell you an interesting find I had two days ago.  First, a little back story.  The Wife and I decided last year to join the couple who introduced us on a little trip.  I’m sure all of you parents and dog owners can relate to this – what do you do with your kid(s)?  In the case of the couple joining us, they were able to have their parents take their daughter for the time we’re away.  But what do you do with an 11 month old vizsla puppy?  The Wife’s aunt & uncle graciously offered, but it seems like every time Hogan visits their home, he’s destroying something.  You’ll probably remember the Wednesday Night Soup incident of 2008 where The gUrt was officially banned from their home by me in an effort to skirt the imminent ban by The Wife’s aunt and uncle.  There’s always the Kennel, but the last time he came back from there, he didn’t have a voice and slept for 3 days straight, so we weren’t too keen on that idea either.  I know Babs would watch him, but there’s the issue of getting him to Denver.  OOOh – wouldn’t it be great to send him to Donnie Boom Boom and Nanc?  We’d never be invited back.  What to do, what to do…

Well, the best option was to take The Big Guy and Mama J up on their offer to watch him for the week.  We’ve done the same for them and watched their dogs, so how hard can it be, right?  I mean  what’s the worst he’s done whilst visiting The Big Guy and Mama J?  HHHmmm – well let’s start with the latest incident: the new Rattan Pet Residence.  About a month ago, we were visiting Walla Walla and there on the doorstep were two brand new Rattan Pet Residences for the Big Guy and me to assemble.  While we were assembling it, I asked The Big Guy if he thought the dogs would chew through the wicker side panels.  His reply was a surprisingly stern “No, they won’t,” as if he had had a sit down with the dogs and discussed the consequences of chewing on the wicker hotel.  Well, apparently he didn’t have that conversation with The gUrt because last weekend, The gUrt did some remodeling to the hotel he was visiting and added an ocean view window.  Just so you know, you can purchase replacement side panels directly from Mr Herzhers…though it helps to know what size the Rattan Pet Residence was before you make the call.

Remodeling the Rattan Pet Residence wasn’t the only incident.  They’ve had to replace several sleeping pads because of incessant chewing.  Oh, and then there was the Nativity Scene incident during Christmas of 2008 where Hogan & Vinnie ran into the front entry full blast and broke an angel, I think a shepherd, and gave baby Jesus a good wack to the skull on the glass table.  Then, there was the reverse potty training we did with The gUrt where he apparently un-learned his bathroom skills and peed everywhere in their house.  Lets just say I’m worried that we may not be invited back to Walla Walla when we return from our trip.

There was an interesting outcome to this story.  In order for everything to work out, we decided it was best to leave Hogan in Walla Walla while we were visiting the weekend before we left.  Of course, we decided that after we had already left Walla Walla, had visited GPat and GrandpaNorm in Lewiston, Idaho and then were on our way back to Spokane.  We agreed that The Wife’s aunt would pick up The gUrt one morning during the week and take him back to Lewiston, where she was to see Mama J and visit GPat and GrandpaNorm.  Then Mama J would take him back with Vinnie to Walla Walla until we returned from our trip.

That morning, I was working in my office and it was about time for The Wife’s aunt to arrive.  I decided I would go spend some time with The gUrt as I knew I would miss him.  It’s funny, working from home, he and I are always together.  We’re together to the point that a lot of the time, if I’m running an errand, I’ll take him with me.  He really is my best friend.  I knew it was going to be hard being away from him for so long, and The Wife was feeling the same.  Hogan must have sensed it because when I went looking for him, I couldn’t find him anywhere.  It was like he totally vanished.  As I passed by the bedroom, I noticed that the bed was in major disarray.  Normally, I wouldn’t think twice about this because I usually make the bed as I hear the garage door lifting – signaling that The Wife is home and I’d better quickly pick up the house and shower before she finds out that The gUrt & I have been partying all day.  But because we were expecting company that day, I had made the bed earlier that morning.  Walking by and finding the bed totally destroyed, I figured out what was going on.  I walked in and quickly realized – The gUrt wasn’t sleeping, he was hiding.  He had totally burrowed his way under the pillows and two comforters in hope that whatever was going on would pass him by.

I’m absolutely amazed by animals and their natural intuition – their ability to read us.

The gUrt's Remodeling Project

So, working from home has it’s benefits.  Like for instance, on Wednesday, I was able to cut out a little early (4:30) from the office and make my way to the kitchen and start dinner – it was our turn at Wednesday Soup Night.  It was awesome.  The Wife decided that Matrimonio I-Taliano Soupa was the way to go.  Now, a couple weeks ago, I mastered Mamma J’s Soupe à l’oignon gratinée so I thought I would give this one a shot.  It was an interesting recipe.  You have to make these crazy little meatballs and then you throw them into a chicken broth based soup and cook it for about 10 – 20 minutes.  It was awesome.  So I hear.  The attendee’s said it was really good.

One of the joys of working at home is that you can easily service your clientele because everything you need is there.  One of my clients, R+W Advertising was re-launching their website the next morning and needed some last minute assistance.  As this is pretty typical on the eve of any website launch, I was on it ASAP to do what I do best!  This new site is an interesting concept.  There’s this idea called Web 2.0 that is this perceived second generation of the web.  It’s centered around mass communication and utilizes Social Networking on the Internet to facilitate it.  So, being the innovative guy that Scott Robertson is, he and his team re-designed their site around this Web 2.0 concept.  Check out the new Web 2.0 RW-Live.com website to see more about it!  Now, what does this have to do with Matrimonio I-Taliano Soupa?  Nothing, but it was a great lead in to plug my friend’s website and make you more interested!  As for the soup, I was busy assisting with the launch of the RW-Live.com website, so I didn’t taste it until later.  Let me tell you – it was Frerking Amazing! (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) And, I’m not a fan of reheated food, but it was really good reheated the next day, unlike the  Mamma J’s Soupe à l’oignon gratinée which doesn’t seem to reheat very well.  I can’t post the Mamma J’s Soupe à l’oignon gratinée because it is some crazy family historical recipe that goes back to the old days in Orofino, ID, but I’ve added the recipe for the Matrimonio I-Taliano Soupa below, so ENJOY!

Oh, and for the various readers that feel they’re perverted because the two apples make them think of a pair of Great Big Old…you are correct, that’s why I went with them.

My Girl, Giada’s, Matrimonio I-Taliano Soupa Recipe (Thanks Babe!)

Giada Delaurentiis - Food Hottie

(see it on the Food Network)

Ingredients

Meatballs:

• 1 small onion, grated
• 1/3 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley
• 1 large egg
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 slice fresh white bread¹, crust trimmed, bread torn into small pieces
• ½ cup grated Parmesan
• 8 ounces ground beef
• 8 ounces ground pork
• Freshly ground black pepper

Soup:

• 12 cups low-sodium chicken broth
• 1 pound curly endive, coarsely chopped (1 pound of escarole² would be a good substitution)
• 2 large eggs
• 2 tablespoon freshly grated Parmesan, plus extra for garnish
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Directions

To make the meatballs: Stir the first 6 ingredients in a large bowl to blend. Stir in the cheese, beef and pork. Using 1 ½ teaspoons for each, shape the meat mixture into 1-inch-diameter meatballs. Place on a baking sheet³.

To make the soup: Bring the broth to a boil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add the meatballs and curly endive and simmer until the meatballs are cooked through and the curly endive is tender, about 8 minutes. Whisk the eggs and cheese in a medium bowl to blend. Stir the soup in a circular motion. Gradually drizzle the egg mixture into the moving broth, stirring gently with a fork to form thin stands of egg, about 1 minute. Season the soup to taste with salt and pepper.

Ladle the soup into bowls and serve. Finish soup with parmesan cheese if desired.

Now, Giada missed the Pasta part – but use orzo or what was next to orzo at Alberton’s – looks like little balls.  I used the whole box – way too much.  I’d use half, but use as much ash you’d like!

¹I didn’t have White Bread because Babs never allowed it in the house. I did have Texas Toast from breakfast The Wife made for Liberty Wright (She’s Single Boys!) on her birthday, so I used that instead of the Wheat Bread that Babs still makes me eat.

²Albertsons, like my favorite Blackberry Apple Clear Excellence Water, didn’t have Endive either, so we went with Escarole – whatever, I don’t think it matters. It’s all basically lettuce, I think.

³I’m just warning you – it helps to have a sous chef like The gUrt because this is the messy part!

In Late October, The Wife accepted a position in Spokane, Washington.  At the time, we had been living in Las Vegas, Nevada – not to be confused with Las Vegas, New Mexico (home of the dirtiest toilets in the world!).  In a whirlwind move, The Wife gave her notice at her position in Las Vegas and moved in with her aunt and uncle in Spokane.  I felt bad for them.  She was there for 3 weeks and trashed the place.  We still get invited over for Wednesday Soup Nights, but I don’t know why.  She had her stuff everywhere.  When we arrived, it was four boxes and two tubs.  When she moved out, it took 4 trips to move everything over to the house.  Another time, we took The gUrt over for dinner for Wednesday Soup Night right around Christmas.  Within three minutes, he managed to eat half their toys into chunks and started grabbing toys off the Christmas Tree.  It was like a pirate who just stormed a ship – pillaging everything in site.  Man, I felt so bad that we proceeded to bring him two more nights.  The third Wednesday Soup Night at their house, he was so annoying that he is no longer invited.  That’s so embarrassing.  I uninvited him, but that’s because I could see it coming down the pipe anyway.  “Hey, Ash, ssssoooo…Hogan’s real nice and all, but…why don’t you plan on…leav…” – thanks, but I’ll cut you off at the pass! By the way, I think The Big Guy and Mamma J (my Father-In-Law and Mother-In-Law) are a little jealous of Wednesday Soup Nights.  They used to live in Spokane years ago and came up with the concept.  Then The Wife decided we’d do it with aunt and uncle.  So I thought I’d do some Wednesday Soup Nights T-Shirts.  I think I’d use a Cup-O-Noodles cup on the back and then say Wednesday Soup Nights on the front left or right chest.  Then I’ll put above the Cup-O-Noodles this: “What’s my weakness?  SOUP!” Yeah, that’d be so sweet.  I’m rambling.

So – Whirlwind Move – yes, The Wife was in Spokane in 3 weeks.   I stayed behind in Las Vegas and packed the house.  It was crazy – I packed the entire house in 1 week.  The movers came on a Thursday and packed everything up (remind me to tell that story – WOAH) , then I drove to the Northwest, my new home.  Now, this whole move was two weeks earlier than I had hoped for.  My plan was to send the movers off on a Tuesday and then drive up to San Francisco from Las Vegas, stay there for a day, drive up the coast from San Francisco to Tillamook and stay there for a couple days and let The gUrt play on the beach.  Then I’d leave, drive to Seattle, hang out with ServiceSucksNick (my Cousin-In-Law) for a day, then head over these crazy mountains to Spokane.  That’s right, drive some really high mountains in December between Seattle & Spokane.  Yes, I was going to do all of that – and all the while, leave The Wife to receive the movers in Spokane.  What a guy huh?  Well, I was quickly brought back to reality and we pushed the date forward 2 weeks to beat this HUGE snowstorm that Spokane could get.  Mind you, when I agreed to move to Spokane, I said I would do it on one condition – that I could get a snowmobile.  Correct that, two conditions.  That I could get TWO snowmobiles.  The Wife made fun of me, but I suggested that snowmobiles were needed in Spokane to get around in the winter.  She quickly corrected me and told me that Spokane barely get’s much snow in the winter.   So here she is saying one minute that Spokane doesn’t get much snow, but then that we needed to be up there two weeks earlier to beat the snow?  What gives?  I think she was just jealous of the “Ash and Hogan Road Show” and that she wasn’t going to be able to attend.  That’s what I think.  So we did it her way and moved up 2 weeks early.

We moved in and we were comfortable in our new digs.  She was right, the weather was really nice.  For 6 Days.  That’s right folks – 6 days.  Spokane proceeded to receive 61 inches of snow.  FIVE FEET of snow.  And here I am, Mr. Las Vegas, and I’m out side every hour shoveling snow.  To the point that I had 8 feet of snow on either side of the three car driveway and broke my back trying to lift it over the hump to remove it.  The first couple of weeks, I was meticulous with my shoveling.  I would shovel to the edge, then I would cut the edge and shovel snow away so there was a clean sliced edge along each side of the driveway.  All the neighbors probably thought, “Look at this A-Hole, he’s spending way to much time shoveling.  Most people would just shovel to the sides and then toss it on the edges in this half-assed manner.  Some would even leave one bay of their driveway un-shoveled and even stack some of the snow on it.  I thought that was “real smart.”  I laugh at them now because they have these driveways that have 8 feet of hard packed snow in them.  Some people, the one’s with the extra car they don’t drive, didn’t shovel them out.  Now those cars won’t go anywhere until next August!  HAH!  Not the Ash & Hogan Show – no way, our driveway is perfectly groomed!

I spent the better part of December and the beginning of January in pain.  It was a good pain, but I thought my back was broken.  So, we decided to break down and get a snow-blower – or snow-thrower for the fanatic readers!  I’ll tell you that whole debacle another time, but I managed to buy one online and have it delivered.  It took 2 weeks.  I shoveled that whole time just waiting for the day that the snow-blower would arrive.  I couldn’t wait!  I wanted to go out and buy gas and oil and all the fixings, but I didn’t know what I’d need, so I just waited.  About 2 days before the snow-blower arrived (January 8), it stopped snowing.  They delivered it, I went out and bought the gas can, filled it up, bought the oil, then I came home and fired that bad boy up!  OH YEAH – it’s a beast.  It will tear through a snowstorm like a hot knife through butter.  Just beautiful!

I can’t Frerking (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) believe it.  After all of that, it hasn’t snowed since the snow-blower arrived.