The gUrt got himself a new website and Facebook page. It was only a matter of time seeing that the little bugger sleeps 18 hours a day. You’ve got to figure that he’s basically a high school-er now, so all he’d do is sleep and Facebook people. I’m not really sure how the heck people find him, but he has a few friends already. One is some Rap Producer, something Beatmaster Beatmaking. That’s because he friended Scott Storch, his favorite hip-hop producer. Then, somehow, a bunch of other dogs found him and friended him. It’s insane. Feel free to visit his site (HoganVizsla.com or ThegUrt.com) – watch for explicit lyrics – and his Facebook page. He’s good to know.

I’d like to share a letter I wrote to the President and CEO of Southwest Airlines:

Dear Gary:

I still feel funny writing “Dear”, especially to a Travel Czar such as yourself. Sorry, shouldn’t call you Czar – that’s not always a good label. Travel Genius? I feel like something a little more hard is the way to start it. Maybe how wrestlers greet each other by smashing chairs over each others heads. But then, you wouldn’t be President & CEO anymore, so maybe we should just stick to “Dear Gary.” I’m rambling.

I’m writing you because I’m positive that you rarely get fan mail, rather scathing ones lighting you up because you’re running what some out there call the “Greyhound of the skies”. I, however, disagree – other than the quality of some of the passengers at times – especially those coming out of Las Vegas. I love Southwest. I like the fact that if I’m on my game, I can get A-Priority seating and take the left hand aisle seat in row 6. I prefer it there because I’m off the plane quick when we land, although the lady that just sat next to me going to Seattle was a Boeing Flight Tester and she said you’re safer over the wings. Usually, the first three rows are the biggest disasters on the plane, so rows 4 & 5 shield me a little from the madness. I especially appreciate you changing the ABC Cattle Call loading to a numbered ABC system. Flights have been a little more pleasant since those days. I almost fist-punched a guy at McCarran because he got in my face when he thought I was moving to the front of the line, when I was just using the split railing to balance my dinner. I’m rambling again.

Mike and Jersey Jen (from Michigan) always give me crap because we tend to have a crazy travel schedule. Well in honor of them, I decided to accept the invitation to stand in the Woods wedding in Denver the same weekend as the annual March of Dimes Signature Chefs event in Las Vegas. Here’s the kicker. The rehearsal dinner was on Friday night and the Bride was insistent that I be there for the rehearsal since two of the groomsmen were not attending the rehearsal. That would have left Frameo alone up there and that’s never a good thing because he gets into trouble. But, the wedding was actually on Sunday evening and with the Signature Chefs event on Saturday, I naturally thought it wise to fly to Las Vegas in between the dinner and wedding. It made sense to me, the groom seemed OK with it, but I think the Bride was pretty irritated about it. Probably not because I was flying somewhere in between, but because I was specifically flying to Las Vegas.

My flight out of Spokane arrived in Denver at 3:00, about a half hour late, which happens, so I was OK with it. Sunday was the day I was worried about anyway. The church was beautiful, nestled into the lower mountains in Genesee. October in the Colorado Rockies is amazing, but that was offset by a psycho wedding planner who threatened to keep the contract deposit if anything went wrong. Dinner was great – a little cabin set ona river in Evergreen. The Bride and Groom were happy and told great stories, especially one involving Frameo giving Scott the “Anal Cleaning Bug” for housekeeping, but seemed to be mis-interpreted by everyone in the room including his 80 year old grandpa who was very with it. I stayed the night at D-Train’s and hit the airport early on Saturday morning.

The 8 AM flight out of Denver to Las Vegas went smooth as can be and before I knew it, I was eating breakfast at Harry’s Bagelmania, a Jewish bagel shop in the Las Vegas ghetto. They’re really mean to you there – the kind of mean that keeps you coming back for more. Afterward, we did a little shopping and then off to the event. Signature Chefs is incredible. 30 Chefs from the Las Vegas Strip, you couldn’t possibly eat like that in one trip let alone one night. The food was as promised – exquisite. The March of Dimes folks are always appreciative of our help and hosted a table for me, so I naturally brought down The Big Guy and Mama J, UG & Aunt Julie and invited, of course, Mike and Jersey Jen (from Michigan) and LW (Liberty Wright). I ate like a king and then back to bed, early to rise for another ride back to the airport.

Signature Chefs of Las Vegas

The 7 AM flight out of Las Vegas, back to Denver, was the one that counted. When we hit the runway, 5 minutes before the scheduled take-off, I toyed with the idea of sending a text message stating I was in jail and detoxing. Then I remembered The Wife and Miss King on their wedding days (the perfect Brides!) and thought, “better not wake a sleeping dog”, right? I arrived 30 minutes early to my delight and had enough time to hit some of my favorite Denver sites before heading up to the wedding. The wedding was awesome, except the pastor spoke about 20 minutes too long and the flagstone floor we were standing on was killing us. Plus the psycho wedding planner told us that people fainted up there all the time, so I was worried that would be me. Court (Bridesmaid) had to sit down it was so bad! The reception was great and everyone enjoyed themselves. It was at this nice Lake House in Evergreen.  There were elk grazing on the golf course.  Everyone was surprised I had been gone and back.

Evergreen Lakehouse

The noontime flight out was a little rough. The pilot did a great job of getting the plane, which was going every direction but straight, up above the clouds. Just about when I saw the space shuttle was when it subsided. It was smooth sailing all the way back to Seattle, then to Spokane. Which leads me to say, I’m sorry you didn’t get the merger deal with Frontier and that they sold to Republic. That made a lot of sense to me – sell to a company that doesn’t have any experience flying long routes and jet planes. But hey, they were thinking of their employees, right? No matter, you’ll buy them for about 25 cents on the dollar next year when they can’t afford gas.

Give this guy a raise:

Thanks again for being so reliable,

Word.

Ash Boodel

P.S. From The gUrt:

Mr. Gary.

Thanks for allowing dogs on your planes now. If you only had direct flights out of Spokane, my dad would fly me places. Maybe when you buy Frontier next year, that’ll allow me travel. I bet you smell good.

The gUrt
HoganVizsla @ Gmail . com
Send Me A Bone!

Well, as you can see, another day another dollar! Until next time…

Welcome back all!  I have to start by apologizing for my two month sabbatical.  Its been a pretty busy past couple of months.  With a couple of good work projects and some visitors/travel, I haven’t been very good about posting.  Let me give you a re-cap on some of the important events:

Mike & Jersey Jen (from Michigan) and LW (Liberty Wright) visited Spokane.  We loaded up Uncle Greg’s Dodge Mega Cab Pickup and headed down to Walla Walla, Washington.  The ladies sat comfortably in the back and solved all the worlds’ problems, while the boys (Mike, The gUrt & I) took care of both the driving as well as creating some entirely new problems for the world.  We stopped at a couple wineries and joined by The Big Guy and Mama J, we hit T. Maccarone’s for some amazing dinner.  After that, we headed back to Spokane for a tour of the city.  I think they enjoyed it, but I don’t think they’ll be moving there anytime soon.  Mike would have to gamble at The Northern Quest – which is a little low-brow for him.  Jersey Jen (from Michigan) would have to take on a new accent.  LW, on the other hand would probably do very well here.

Scott and Louise Robertson took a 6 month (exaggerating) sabbatical in New Zealand (not exaggerating).  They came back super refreshed and with some amazing photos of the scenery.  You’d better Friend him on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/theoneandonlyscottrobertson/) if you want to see those pics!  I highly recommend you do – the pictures are Frerking (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) Incredible! Here’s a sample:

A New Zealand Local

Tiff and Troy-boy (PEMF) visited from Boise.  We spent the weekend relaxing at the lake and around the City.  Hogan snuck into the shower with Tiff to get a peek (that’s my boy), while Troy-boy hit the neighborhood garage sale event.  He is the proud owner of two Mac computer screens now.  I think Tiff thought he was losing his mind.  I was in full support of his purchase, down to the packaging of said screens for the said return to Boise.  Troy-boy also started guest blogging on Eric Selvig’s running website, One Runner’s Brain.  If you’re into running, there are some good laughs.  I’m not a runner, so I don’t get the jokes.

I took about a 10 day trip to Denver to see family and friends.  I think I saw everyone I probably could have, with exception of The Frameos and Worleys.  Ryan Arnold’s group, The Denver Active 2030 Children’s Foundation put together a great charity event called Keeping Kids On Track.  It was really successful and was co-sponsored by the Denver Bronco’s Cheerleaders.  D-Train and I helped out with the website (www.keepingkidsontrack.org) as well as attended the event and helped out.  We met all the cheerleaders.  That’s a true test of my love for The Wife.  I had some of the most beautiful ladies around me and we’re still together!  I did hang out with Romi Bean a little bit – she’s my favorite!  Ryan’s Dad, Gar-Dog was there too.  We were helping the cheerleaders with their helmets and he kept smacking them on the head to see if the helmets fit.  Only Gar-Dog could get away with that.  Big ups to Ryan and Katie Kosters for their hard work and raising $20,000 from the event!

Denver Bronco's Cheerleader Romi Bean
(My new friend!)

We spent several weekends at Uncle Greg and Aunt Julie’s cabin in Coeur d’Alene and The gUrt learned to swim.  We even took a jet-ski and kayak ride.  He’s a new dog now – loves the water!  I know you don’t believe me, but I’ll post some proof – pictures of course, but I have to get them from Aunt Julie.

Ryan and Taylor visited Spokane.  It was a great weekend.  We trucked on down to Walla Walla, Washington and did some wine tasting.  My new favorite is Rulo Winery.  It was harvest season and crush time and Rulo’s owners, Kurt & Vicki Schlicker were so gracious.  They gave us tours of the property and showed us the crush procedures.  If you find yourself in Walla Walla, I highly recommend visiting them (www.rulowinery.com).  After Walla Walla, we headed back to Spokane and showed them the City as well as Coeur d’Alene.  We took them to Isabella’s Gin Joint (INCREDIBLE) and then headed to Zola afterward.  Zola a great place – it’s seats on the upper level are reclaimed Tilt-A-Whirl seats.  They don’t spin though – probably because of all the drinking.

Rulo Winery - The Best Winery in Walla Walla

Finally the Family visited over Labor Day weekend.  It was a great time – the usual tour to Coeur d’Alene (seeing a theme here?) and the City.  It was a great weekend and I think Bab’s is ok with the move.  I was worried that they wouldn’t like Spokane.  I don’t think Chris (brother) liked it as much, but he like’s traveling anyway.  He’s still mad we left Las Vegas,  He definitely wasn’t fond of The gUrt.  I think that Hogan was a little active for him.  When the Fam left, Hogan seemed to take on some bad habits.  I’m thinking that Bab’s might have spoiled him a little bit.  Imagine what she’d do to kids!  Just kidding, I’m a SAHDiNK!

Finally I did a good dead.  I bought a new pair of shoes.  Now, how is that a good dead?  Well, they are a pair of Tom’s Shoes.  Mama J and The Wife found them in a little store in Walla Walla.  Tom’s Shoes has a nice treat to it – every pair of shoes you buy, they give a pair of shoes to a child in need.  So you’re not only buying something totally cool for you, but you’d doing something for someone else.  I love the idea and the shoes? They’re awesome – so comfortable and travel friendly!  I looked at another pair that I secretly wanted, but when I showed them to the girls, they made fun of them.  They were a sort of slip on shoe, but they had anchors all over them.  It was a nice nautical theme.  The girls thought it was a little bit flamboyant.  So I bought the other pair and I wear them all the time!

Secret First Pick - Nautical Theme

The Runner Up - Still love them!

Well, that’s it for now.  Some good stories to come soon – including Canada. (Sorry about the delay G-Loyal)

I just received word from Mike and Jersey Jen From Michigan.  They are joining LW (Liberty Wright – she’s single boys!) in a few weeks on a visit to Spokane.  I think that’s great.  Not that I don’t like hanging out with LW – she’s the easiest person to be around – but it’s always good times when the 5 of us get around each other.  Someone always becomes the butt of a joke.  Usually me.  I responded to her email that we (The gUrt & I, not The Wife because she’s hard at work) are so excited to see them.   I may have made mention that The gUrt “pooped his pants” with excitement.  Because the original email was to all 5 of us, and because I “responded to all”, The Wife quickly sent an email expressing her excitement and that we would “clean up the house.”  Now, to quote The Big Guy, “I was born at night, but not last night”. I’m well aware that The Wife’s response is directly related to her complete disappointment in my choice of excitement expression. Go Figure.

The funny thing about it is that:

A. The gUrt doesn’t wear pants and…

B. The gUrt hasn’t pooped in the house since the second night after he moved in.

When we first brought him home, I was walking downstairs after a 2 second run upstairs, only to find him in the “Catcher’s” position doing his business.  I have to say with all my voice strength, I let him know I was extremely dissatisfied with his activity at hand and quickly ushered him to the back yard.  He must have understood that we poop outside because from that day on, he poops outside.  Good Boy Hogan.  Peeing was a different story.  He once peed on D-Train’s foot. Good Boy Hogan.  I’m rambling.

I know I promised some fun Canadian adventures – they’re coming.  I thought I’d give everyone a vacation from my vacationing and provide a different topic for once.  Thanks to Devin for his last blog – I received some positive feedback on it.

Speaking of D-Train – also known as Danny-D to some or Dr. Nugget by others – I was recently catching up on his website, CravingBagels.com, and happened to stumble upon an excerpt he wrote about Miss King, his “lady friend” as he calls her.  They’re married.  Anyway, this excerpt is about how she is the most finicky eater he knows.  He mentions that she has different characteristics that make her finicky.  These are the one’s that stuck out to me:

• She likes her hamburgers plain.  Except at Effie Burger in Lewiston, ID, home of the largest gut bomb burger in the entire world.  You have to understand that for someone to not like anything on their burger, especially when it is a basic burger, and then to want EVERYTHING on her Effie Burger, it is pretty contradictory.  That’s like saying I don’t like dogs with hair, but then your favorite dog is an Old English Sheep Dog.
• There are certain foods she’ll only eat if D-Train cooks them.  If he cooks it too often, it’s ruined and she’ll never eat it again.
• She can taste “spiciness” in everything – even things with no spice in it.  For instance, she can taste spices in bottled water.
• She hate’s meat on the bone.

There’s too many to mention, but I thought, how hard to date?  It’s a wonder they made it solely on the basis that dating had to have been a struggle.  As I was reading this in the beginning, I kept thinking, what a freakshow. But, as I started finishing the story, I began to realize that I am also a very picky eater.  Just the other night, The Wife and I met her friend Sasha and her “not her boyfriend” boyfriend at Cafe Marron.  Cafe Marron is the cool little restaurant in Browne’s Addition in Spokane, a quaint, hip neighborhood.  This restaurant is really cool – it’s all reclaimed wood from barns and other buildings.  The windows are garage doors that are opened in the summer.  The chairs are school chairs.  The food is really good.  The first time we went there, they had this awesome Au Gratin Mac N’ Cheese.  It was TDF (To Die For – I had to make it an acronym because Ronnie Drama hated that phrase).  That was back in February or March during an International Date Night.  The next time, we went there with The SchreTters and low and behold – no Au Gratin Mac N’ Cheese.  I was tre’ disappointed.  So, I ordered this new dish – some sort of ToFu Stir Fry – again, slam dunk and TDF.  So, this last weekend, we met Sasha and her “not her boyfriend” boyfriend there and wouldn’t you believe it.  Not only was the Au Gratin Mac N’ Cheese not on the menu, but neither was the ToFu Stir Fry.  I was again let down.  This time, I spent the better part of 30 mintues mulling over the menu before reluctantly deciding on the hamburger.  I love hamburgers – my favorite food, but I’d had my World Famous Sliders, Canadian McDonald’s, Wendy’s and another burger within about 5 days.  It was just too much and there was nothing else appetizing.  You see, its rare that I pick up a menu that has multiple items I’d want.  Most of the time when we go to a place for the first time, I’m nervous they won’t have something I like.  I almost always find something and then every time we return, I order the same thing.

Brian - Pronghorn Antelope

I totally agree with her on the Meat on a bone thing.  I have a real hard time with it.  I think it’s because I have trouble eating things that I’ve seen moving.  At least when you buy a steak or hamburger meat, it’s processed to the point where it isn’t really recognizable.  I guess for me, the bone is a grim reminder to me of what I’m eating.  A leg, a rib, something like that.  At least when I eat a ribeye, I have no idea where on the cow it came from.  But I have trouble with it.  I’ll go fishing and then I have to leave the room when it’s being prepared so I won’t associate dinner with what I just caught.  Last year, I went hunting in Wyoming with The Big Guy, SoupUncle and his nephew.  I shot a Pronghorn Antelope and had it butchered and brought home the meat.  I also had the head mounted for the Office.  Why not, right?  I even named my Antelope.  Brian.  The problem with naming him Brian is that I already have issues with animal to food association.  Here I am, struggling to eat something I killed, and then I keep thinking of his name.  This makes it worse.  When I finally do get the mounted head, I’ll probably never be able to eat in the Office again.

This food issue has been tough since I was a kid.  I hate when my food touches.  I hate soggy bread.  You name it, I’m freakish about it.  I don’t think I would have done well with the Donner Party.  Well maybe, but only if the following occurred:

1. I visited the Donner Party – not traveled with them.  I couldn’t have any previous knowledge of people within the Donner Party who now account for empty seats at the table.
2. Everything would have to be cooked fresh and clean – I’m a germaphobe to the core.
3. Everything would have to be processed – if it looks like Barry, then I’m going to feel like I’m eating Barry.  If it’s processed like Bologna or String Cheese, then I’d be more likely to eat it with no remorse.
4. If everything could be packaged, that would be great.  Barry with Triscuits and Tillamook Cheese would be nice.  It would be even better if they could package Barry as a Lunchable.

New Barry ABBA Flavor

To read D-Train‘s Article, visit http://cravingbagels.com/?page_id=1498 – Good laughs for sure.  Don’t read too much or you’ll blow about 2 hours to about 6 days of non-stop reading and laughter.  Big Ups to “The Greatest Blogger of All Time!”

Many of you have sent me links to articles similar to this one regarding the smuggling of dishwasher detergent into Spokane from out of state/city:

• AirAmerica: Housewives Smuggling Illegal Soap into Spokane

First, I’d like to thank AirAmerica for including my sort – the SAHDiNK – by referring to the househusbands along with the housewives in this article.  I must tell you how frustrating it is to read article after article about stay at home types and only see the word “wife” in conjunction with the word “house”.  I find it oh so offensive and commend AirAmerica for standing up for The HouseHusband.  Now, yes, this soap smuggling seems to be a big controversy.  To the point that I overheard The Early Show discussing the issue on national television while working in my home-office.  Yes, Mike & Jersey Jen (from Michigan) – I overheard the TV in the family room while I was working in the office – I wasn’t watching.  The issue seems to be that the Spokane River has become an endangered river because of industrial dumping.  I don’t get it.  I was at the Spokane Falls last week and it looks rather clean to me.  I didn’t see garbage floating or oil seeping from the water.  It looked pretty fresh to me – I would swim in it if it weren’t traveling at 1,000 miles an hour – though it might be fun to try to tube it at least once. I’m rambling

For those of you who have inquired about this issue, I’m here to set the record straight.  We are NOT smuggling  illegal dishwasher detergents into Spokane.  Let me repeat my self: We are absolutely, unequivocally NOT smuggling in Electrosol Finish^® All in 1 PowerBall^® Tabs – Fresh Scent dishwasher detergent, even though it is far superior to the Palmolive Eco-Friendly brand we bought that doesn’t Frerking (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) work worth a lick.

Now that that’s settled, I thought I’d tell you an interesting find I had two days ago.  First, a little back story.  The Wife and I decided last year to join the couple who introduced us on a little trip.  I’m sure all of you parents and dog owners can relate to this – what do you do with your kid(s)?  In the case of the couple joining us, they were able to have their parents take their daughter for the time we’re away.  But what do you do with an 11 month old vizsla puppy?  The Wife’s aunt & uncle graciously offered, but it seems like every time Hogan visits their home, he’s destroying something.  You’ll probably remember the Wednesday Night Soup incident of 2008 where The gUrt was officially banned from their home by me in an effort to skirt the imminent ban by The Wife’s aunt and uncle.  There’s always the Kennel, but the last time he came back from there, he didn’t have a voice and slept for 3 days straight, so we weren’t too keen on that idea either.  I know Babs would watch him, but there’s the issue of getting him to Denver.  OOOh – wouldn’t it be great to send him to Donnie Boom Boom and Nanc?  We’d never be invited back.  What to do, what to do…

Well, the best option was to take The Big Guy and Mama J up on their offer to watch him for the week.  We’ve done the same for them and watched their dogs, so how hard can it be, right?  I mean  what’s the worst he’s done whilst visiting The Big Guy and Mama J?  HHHmmm – well let’s start with the latest incident: the new Rattan Pet Residence.  About a month ago, we were visiting Walla Walla and there on the doorstep were two brand new Rattan Pet Residences for the Big Guy and me to assemble.  While we were assembling it, I asked The Big Guy if he thought the dogs would chew through the wicker side panels.  His reply was a surprisingly stern “No, they won’t,” as if he had had a sit down with the dogs and discussed the consequences of chewing on the wicker hotel.  Well, apparently he didn’t have that conversation with The gUrt because last weekend, The gUrt did some remodeling to the hotel he was visiting and added an ocean view window.  Just so you know, you can purchase replacement side panels directly from Mr Herzhers…though it helps to know what size the Rattan Pet Residence was before you make the call.

Remodeling the Rattan Pet Residence wasn’t the only incident.  They’ve had to replace several sleeping pads because of incessant chewing.  Oh, and then there was the Nativity Scene incident during Christmas of 2008 where Hogan & Vinnie ran into the front entry full blast and broke an angel, I think a shepherd, and gave baby Jesus a good wack to the skull on the glass table.  Then, there was the reverse potty training we did with The gUrt where he apparently un-learned his bathroom skills and peed everywhere in their house.  Lets just say I’m worried that we may not be invited back to Walla Walla when we return from our trip.

There was an interesting outcome to this story.  In order for everything to work out, we decided it was best to leave Hogan in Walla Walla while we were visiting the weekend before we left.  Of course, we decided that after we had already left Walla Walla, had visited GPat and GrandpaNorm in Lewiston, Idaho and then were on our way back to Spokane.  We agreed that The Wife’s aunt would pick up The gUrt one morning during the week and take him back to Lewiston, where she was to see Mama J and visit GPat and GrandpaNorm.  Then Mama J would take him back with Vinnie to Walla Walla until we returned from our trip.

That morning, I was working in my office and it was about time for The Wife’s aunt to arrive.  I decided I would go spend some time with The gUrt as I knew I would miss him.  It’s funny, working from home, he and I are always together.  We’re together to the point that a lot of the time, if I’m running an errand, I’ll take him with me.  He really is my best friend.  I knew it was going to be hard being away from him for so long, and The Wife was feeling the same.  Hogan must have sensed it because when I went looking for him, I couldn’t find him anywhere.  It was like he totally vanished.  As I passed by the bedroom, I noticed that the bed was in major disarray.  Normally, I wouldn’t think twice about this because I usually make the bed as I hear the garage door lifting – signaling that The Wife is home and I’d better quickly pick up the house and shower before she finds out that The gUrt & I have been partying all day.  But because we were expecting company that day, I had made the bed earlier that morning.  Walking by and finding the bed totally destroyed, I figured out what was going on.  I walked in and quickly realized – The gUrt wasn’t sleeping, he was hiding.  He had totally burrowed his way under the pillows and two comforters in hope that whatever was going on would pass him by.

I’m absolutely amazed by animals and their natural intuition – their ability to read us.

The gUrt's Remodeling Project

This past weekend, I went to the Spokane Gun Show with The Wife’s uncle.  He’s a funny guy – we both broke our backs the same week, so we’re on the same wavelength.  He went to the doctor, though.  His diagnosis: “Condition consistent with a typical 50 year old male.”  That’s a bummer.  I think he wanted to hear something more like, “Patient broke back lifting a 1000 pound dock.”, not something about being 50.  Sorry man.  Anyway, we were at the Gun Show and I came across this really cool booth that had women’s hunting clothes.  No, not the booth with the women’s concealed carry lingerie (though that was cool too), it was straight up hunting clothes.  So I was looking through the rack and I spied a really cool army type jacket.  I picked it up and it was surprisingly hip.  It was clearly cut for a woman with the curves into the hips.  I thought it would look pretty cool on The Wife, so I bought it.  Now, the brand was called She Safari and the guy that sold it to me told me this story about ow the owner was a friend of his and he started it because he had all women in the house – wife and all daughters.  I guess its your typical guy that just wanted a son and didn’t get one, so he decided to turn his daughters and wife into something like a son, but still make it cool.  I’m rambling.

So this She Safari Army Jacket was really cool.  I brought it home to The Wife and she sort of made fun of me, at first, then she looked closer at it and I could see she actually thought it was cool.  She wore it this weekend and it in fact looked AWESOME!  I joked with her that it was her Che Guevara outfit.  I mentioned that as we were walking into the Rocket Bakery, downtown, and then proceeded to make the “double handed gunshots in the air, then spin the guns into holsters” mime.  I love that action, although it was probably a little scary for the people in the bakery because they’re all pretty much hippies.  I then called her Che all day long.

When we were living in Las Vegas, our favorite restaurant was the Balboa Pizza Company at The District at Green Valley Ranch.  It’s the best pizza and we always ordered the Barbecue Chicken Pizza.  It’s really tasty and it comes on a wood plank and is fashioned in a rectangle instead of a circle.  Another plus.  I really miss it since we’ve moved, but we have found a replacement here in Spokane.  There’s this totally hip place on the South Hill called Benniditos.  I can’t ever remember the real name, so I call it Bertinellis.  Everyone looks at me like I’m dumb, but I think it’s funny.  The Wife say’s it’s not.  Anyway, Benniditos is incredibly good.  It comes out on a metal pan and is circular.  They also are lacking the Barbecue Chicken Pizza.  But, what they lack in Rectangle BBQ, they make up for in DELICIOUS pie!  They also have these cool little deals called Beer Buddies.  We order them every time we go, but the last time we went, I saw them written on some girl’s chest, so I thought, we’d better get them.

The problem with Benniditos is that we’re pretty sure they put something in the pizza that makes you have weird dreams.  If you don’t believe me, let me give you some examples:

1. Case 1 – Read “Hogan’s Proposals Are Missing!” – this story occurred the very first night we ate Benniditos.  The Wife was seriously affected by the food.
2. Case 2 – The Wife has had many more dreams including one where she was late to work out with her mother who lives 3 house away and her friend from college who lives in Denver.  Our Friend in Denver was then really mad at her – someone whom I’ve never seem mad at anyone.
3. Case 3 – I’ve had several dreams as well that include me being an FBI Agent.
4. Case 4 – Liberty Wright, our friend from Las Vegas (Single Boys!) also had strange dreams on the plane back to Las Vegas from Spokane, just after eating at Benniditos.

As you can see, there is something wrong here.  If you still don’t believe me, let me tell you about my last post-Benniditos dream.  As you know, our house is a comfortable trio – The Wife, The gUrt, and myself.  Now, we’ve been having some adolescent issues with The gUrt.  He’s really crazy lately and now that he’s 50 pounds, he’s really getting difficult to control in certain situations.  One of those situations is he likes to run up to the neighbors.  They don’t seem to like it.  I think they’re a little afraid of him because he barks at them and acts like he wants to eat them.  Actually, he probably wouldn’t do that, but he’d eat their cellphone if he got it (Sorry to The Wife’s aunt!).

With all that said, the dream I had was crazy.  We decided to get another dog in my dream.  This dog was none other than Clifford the Big Red Dog.  I recently found out that Clifford is an oversized Vizsla and since Hogan is a Vizsla, I guess in my dream, Clifford seemed like a natural second dog.  The thing that concerns me about this dream was that everything was real, just like most dreams.  Clifford was really hard to control and Hogan was crazy.  We couldn’t get Clifford in the house because he was too big and we couldn’t even get him into the garage.  To top it off, Clifford and Hogan were running down the street and terrorizing the neighborhood.  Since Clifford was so big, he was causing the ground to shake and the street was cracking under his paws.  And he was so excited and crazy that he was knocking over trees and all the neighbors were running around, cussing me out.  One neighbor said, “These Frerking renters and their red dogs! I can’t wait for them to move!”

I mentioned a minute ago I was concerned.  What concerns me, you ask?  Well, I am concerned that not only was I dreaming about a fictional big red dog, but it happened to be that in my dream, as much as everything was as real as it is when I’m awake, this big red dog was indeed a cartoon.  That’s right folks, Clifford the Big Red Cartoon Dog running down my real street.

Clifford's New Family (The wife is played by Eva Mendes)

Part of the joy of being a SAHDiNK is that I get to work from home.  That’s right, I work at my high top desk in the front office of our beautiful home nestled in on the south side of the South Hill in Spokane.  I was eating lunch a month ago and looked out the window and saw a Moose eating snow by the house.  Not something you see every day.  I’d show you a picture, but as I pulled out the iPhone and loaded up the camera, the Moose ran along the side of the house to the front.  At that point, The gUrt went crazy barking up a storm at the GINORMOUS (his words, not mine) dog outside.  All that racket plus Mark and Mary’s minivan chasing it up the street caused so much commotion for the poor cow that she rolled up the neighbors driveway and ran back behind their house into the forest.  There’s a lake below our neighborhood and the forest is above us, so I think she uses our neighborhood to access the lake for a drink.  She’s really tidy – doesn’t poop on the street or our driveways, so I appreciate that.  I was cleaning up the yard and noticed that she did however poop on the grass by the dining room window.  I’m rambling.

So, working from home has it’s benefits.  Like for instance, on Wednesday, I was able to cut out a little early (4:30) from the office and make my way to the kitchen and start dinner – it was our turn at Wednesday Soup Night.  It was awesome.  The Wife decided that Matrimonio I-Taliano Soupa was the way to go.  Now, a couple weeks ago, I mastered Mamma J’s Soupe à l’oignon gratinée so I thought I would give this one a shot.  It was an interesting recipe.  You have to make these crazy little meatballs and then you throw them into a chicken broth based soup and cook it for about 10 – 20 minutes.  It was awesome.  So I hear.  The attendee’s said it was really good.

One of the joys of working at home is that you can easily service your clientele because everything you need is there.  One of my clients, R+W Advertising was re-launching their website the next morning and needed some last minute assistance.  As this is pretty typical on the eve of any website launch, I was on it ASAP to do what I do best!  This new site is an interesting concept.  There’s this idea called Web 2.0 that is this perceived second generation of the web.  It’s centered around mass communication and utilizes Social Networking on the Internet to facilitate it.  So, being the innovative guy that Scott Robertson is, he and his team re-designed their site around this Web 2.0 concept.  Check out the new Web 2.0 RW-Live.com website to see more about it!  Now, what does this have to do with Matrimonio I-Taliano Soupa?  Nothing, but it was a great lead in to plug my friend’s website and make you more interested!  As for the soup, I was busy assisting with the launch of the RW-Live.com website, so I didn’t taste it until later.  Let me tell you – it was Frerking Amazing! (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) And, I’m not a fan of reheated food, but it was really good reheated the next day, unlike the  Mamma J’s Soupe à l’oignon gratinée which doesn’t seem to reheat very well.  I can’t post the Mamma J’s Soupe à l’oignon gratinée because it is some crazy family historical recipe that goes back to the old days in Orofino, ID, but I’ve added the recipe for the Matrimonio I-Taliano Soupa below, so ENJOY!

Oh, and for the various readers that feel they’re perverted because the two apples make them think of a pair of Great Big Old…you are correct, that’s why I went with them.

My Girl, Giada’s, Matrimonio I-Taliano Soupa Recipe (Thanks Babe!)

Giada Delaurentiis - Food Hottie

(see it on the Food Network)

Ingredients

Meatballs:

• 1 small onion, grated
• 1/3 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley
• 1 large egg
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 slice fresh white bread¹, crust trimmed, bread torn into small pieces
• ½ cup grated Parmesan
• 8 ounces ground beef
• 8 ounces ground pork
• Freshly ground black pepper

Soup:

• 12 cups low-sodium chicken broth
• 1 pound curly endive, coarsely chopped (1 pound of escarole² would be a good substitution)
• 2 large eggs
• 2 tablespoon freshly grated Parmesan, plus extra for garnish
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Directions

To make the meatballs: Stir the first 6 ingredients in a large bowl to blend. Stir in the cheese, beef and pork. Using 1 ½ teaspoons for each, shape the meat mixture into 1-inch-diameter meatballs. Place on a baking sheet³.

To make the soup: Bring the broth to a boil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add the meatballs and curly endive and simmer until the meatballs are cooked through and the curly endive is tender, about 8 minutes. Whisk the eggs and cheese in a medium bowl to blend. Stir the soup in a circular motion. Gradually drizzle the egg mixture into the moving broth, stirring gently with a fork to form thin stands of egg, about 1 minute. Season the soup to taste with salt and pepper.

Ladle the soup into bowls and serve. Finish soup with parmesan cheese if desired.

Now, Giada missed the Pasta part – but use orzo or what was next to orzo at Alberton’s – looks like little balls.  I used the whole box – way too much.  I’d use half, but use as much ash you’d like!

¹I didn’t have White Bread because Babs never allowed it in the house. I did have Texas Toast from breakfast The Wife made for Liberty Wright (She’s Single Boys!) on her birthday, so I used that instead of the Wheat Bread that Babs still makes me eat.

²Albertsons, like my favorite Blackberry Apple Clear Excellence Water, didn’t have Endive either, so we went with Escarole – whatever, I don’t think it matters. It’s all basically lettuce, I think.

³I’m just warning you – it helps to have a sous chef like The gUrt because this is the messy part!

This one’s a quickie.  I just received an email from The Wife.  She said she had a question and to call her when I had a free minute.  That means “why isn’t your phone with you”.  So, I ran into the bedroom, then the closet to the pants I was wearing yesterday because I realized I didn’t even take it out of my pocket to charge it.  Not firing on all cylinders today, I guess.

As I was passing the bed, I noticed this out of the corner of my eye:

Yes, that's a Vizsla Butt

Which leads me to this question: Is Spokane too cold for a Vizsla?

We’ve got the most finicky dog.  When he was a young puppy, The Big Guy (my Father-In-Law) told us that he had been feeding the puppies Nutro-Max puppy food because it was high in protein or fat or nutrition or something you want puppies to have.  He’d know because he’s The Big Guy and knows everything.  That’s why he’s writing a book called “Things I believe to be true but aren’t”.  Ok, so that’s not the title but it has something to do with the fact that he says things he believes are true, knowing full well that they “might” not be.  Anyway, so he puts the puppies on this Nutro-Max and at 7 weeks old, low and behold – Hogan wouldn’t touch it.  We took him to the Vet in Las Vegas – My Wife calls the guy Thaddeus Drumm because it’s written on his diploma.  Oh yeah, why don’t you just leave off Frerking (last name) there because so many Doctors like to be called by their first and middle name, not Dr. Last Name.  I’m rambling.

So, Thaddeus Drumm suggests that we serve him a nice helping of Science Diet.  That works out because he loved it!  Except for the fact that the first time we get Hogan together with his brother Vinnie, Vinnie outweighs him by about 50 pounds.  So The Big Guy suggests that we start feeding him this wet food on top of the Science Diet.

That’s all really boring back-story to get you up to the point when I went to buy all this freakin’ food for the little guy.  So, I headed over to the local Spokane PetCo and pick up a nice bag of Science Diet and then I hopped over to the wet food isle and look for the food that The Big Guy had been feeding Vinnie.  It’s in a purple can labeled Nutro-Max and says something about Chicken & Lamb  & Rice.  That’s all I remember – rather that’s all I took the time to imprint on my brain because I have so much else going on in my life.  I found this purple Chicken & Lamb & Rice Nutro-Max Puppy wet food.  PERFECT!  Right under it was a full unopened case, so I slid that one out from underneath and headed up to the Check Stand.  That’s right folks – that’s One Point for Ash!  I’m going to be the hero tonight!

Fast – forward, it’s about 7:00 PM and The Wife has come home from work.  I’m preparing this nice gourmet meal for the HogUrt and as I finish opening the lid on the can, I notice something odd – the food The Big Guy fed the pups was chunky…this one is a ground up, masshed up mess!  So, I start bitching about it and look at the side of the can:

Nutro-Max Chicken & Lamb & Rice – WEIGHT CONTROL

After dropping a few F-Bombs and then fessing up to my honey that I might have grabbed the wrong food, I proceed to get hazed for being the dog owner that feeds his anorexic dog weight control dog food.

Awesome.

Nutro Max - Chicken, Rice & Lamb - For Adult Dogs (What I Really Wanted)

Nutro-Max Chicken, Lamb & Rice - For Puppies (What I thought I wanted)

Nutro-Max Chicken, Rice & Vegetable - For Fatties (What I got - Dangit)

Let me tell you what I woke up to last night.  Wait…before I do that, let me set the stage:

Rewind to yesterday morning (Friday) – 5:45 AM I get up and hop in the shower and get ready for a good workout.  On the slopes that is!  Yes, while my sweetheart was slaving away at work, I took her uncle and we hit the road, drove up to Mt. Schweitzer, and did some hardcore snowboarding (he skied).  So, by the time I get home, we go out to dinner for date night, and get home to watch Psych, I must say I was really sleepy.

Now that the stage is set, fast forward to about 3:00 AM this morning (Saturday).  I woke up to this:

“Ash…Ash…AAASSSHHH!!!”

“WHAT?”

“Did Hogan finish the website redesign bids?”

This should be interesting.  Let’s go along with it. What you have to understand here is that Hogan is our 8 month old Vizsla puppy.

“I’m sorry?”

“DID HOGAN FINISH THE WEBSITE RE-CREATION BIDS?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand!?”

“AAARRRGGGHHH!  You’re not understanding!”

“Didn’t I just say th…”

“Ash, be rude!”  Now I hear the pocket door to the master bedroom entry closing shut.  This is a common occurrence because of Mr. Bed Pisser who seems to have to use the restroom at all hours of the night and if you don’t take him out when me moves, then…well…hence the name.

As she was climbing into bed, I asked, “What do you need?”

“NEVER MIND!  Gosh!”

“You asked me about Hogan.  What was it you needed?  Something about a bid?”

“No, I just took him out to pee.  GRR.”

Um, I’m sorry, you took him out to pee?  In this condition?  Oh my, I hope the neighbors were not up!

And, light’s out.  This morning, I woke up to her apologizing for the crazy lady last night.