The Big Guy and Mama J constantly make fun of my Dish Washing Methodology^tm.  Even Auntie Willie^® (New nickname for The Wife’s Aunt!  Thanks NAN! yay) chimes in.  You’d think she’d be all so happy to have me scrubbing her dishes on Thanksgiving night, but instead, she’s standing there ribbing me because in Cabo, I asked her to take my white linen shirt off so it wouldn’t get stained.  I guess that was an odd request for Auntie Willie^®, who by the way made the best Dutch Apple Pie I’ve had. The Big Guy will wait until I have the clean sink water at the perfect temperature and then stick a dirty dish in the water, soiling it completely.  He once said that if I continued to clean his dishes, he’d have to buy new one’s because I would have cleaned them to the bone.  I disagree – you can’t clean dishes that much.  Other times, he’ll walk over in the middle of cleaning and stick a dish with food on it in the dish washer. Let me be clear, dishwashers are mis-named.  They should be called “Dish Sanitizers” because that’s what they do.  They don’t get the food off – I don’t care what anyone says.  The wife just rolls her eyes at the discussion.

Note: If you’re looking for a new Dish Sanitizer, go with Hobart.  It’s not pretty, but it’s the way a Dish Sanitizer should be.

Hobart Under Counter Dish "Sanitizer"

Lately, I’m feeling a little bad for The Wife.  She’s been getting in trouble for a lot of things around the house.  Here’s a few examples of my wrath:

1. She’ll often stick things like wine bottle toppers, spoons and forks, and other small items in the sink where the disposal lives.  After an evening of use, these items will almost always find a home in the disposal.  After a heavy night of entertaining, I’ll conclude my Dish Washing Methodology^tm by turning on the disposal, only do listen to sounds like she put a body in down the sink.  I’ll just shoot her a glare and go the Mud Room for some quiet time.
2. Donnie Boom Boom was in town last week and he asked for the strawberry jam.  When he opened it, there was peanut butter mixed in with it because when The Wife makes a PB&J sandwich, she uses the same knife for the peanut butter and the jam.  Mud Room Cool Off Time.
3. I have this new obsession with drying out the sink when I’m done doing the dishes.  I’ll often spend a lot of time drying it, then walk into another room, only to hear the sink running in the kitchen.  I’ll walk back in and there she is running the sink to wash her hands.  I think to myself, “Isn’t there a bathroom for that?”  Again, Mud Room Cool Off Time.
4. A couple of weeks ago, The Wife’s advertising agency needed to burrow some of my swimming trunks for a video shoot.  Now, when I heard this, I thought “Nice. They’re going to display them and film them with some words over them and some other items for the commercial”.  I pulled my best three pair of board shorts and tied the strings really nicely for display.  The next day, The Wife sent me an email picture from the video shoot. I thought it was a pretty cool picture.  That is, until I noticed A good pair of green Hurley Boardshorts were being sported by some young chap riding a wave.  I was Frerking (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) furious.  Once more, Mud Room Cool Off Time.

This is just a glimpse – it’s getting worse too.  The latest occurrence happened last night.  The last post, I mentioned I took a business trip to Las Vegas.  While I was there, I stayed with my good pal, Mike of Mike and Jersey Jen (from Michigan).  On Mike’s coffee table was a 944 Magazine and there, on the cover was the most beautiful angelic figure I’d seen since our wedding night.  That good looking woman turned out to be none other than My Girl, Giada De Laurentiis.  As many of you know, I have a Kitchen Crush on her.  While The Big Guy and Mama J were in town last week, I wanted to show the magazine article to The Big Guy, as I knew he too was a fan.  I asked The Wife where the 944 Magazine was and she replied that she had taken it to work to show one of the partners.  Reaching boiling point…

…And to the Mud Room, I do retire…

944 Magazine Cover - Giada de Laurentiis

But it gets even worse.  Last night, as The Wife had returned from work, she thought I would be happy to have my Lovely back.  Don’t get me wrong, I was super excited.  But then, I noticed that the top corner of the cover of the magazine had a crease on it.  Holding back a nuclear fallout explosion, I calmly asked about it and she mentioned the partner had accidentally bent it when he was transporting it.  I’m not sure why it wasn’t taken out on a flatbed dolly.  At any rate, I just came out of the Mud Room.

Speaking of peanut butter and My Girl, Giada De Laurentiis, she and my other favorite freakshow author, Jen Lancaster, have some new competition.  While I was in Las Vegas, Mike of Mike and Jersey Jen (from Michigan) introduced me to his cousin, Eric and Eric’s wife, Julie.  Might I say, they were the most pleasant company.  Julie just happens to have a blog about cooking & baking.  Everything looks delectable!  Check it out at http://www.peanutbutterandjulie.com!

The funny thing about it is that:

A. The gUrt doesn’t wear pants and…

B. The gUrt hasn’t pooped in the house since the second night after he moved in.

When we first brought him home, I was walking downstairs after a 2 second run upstairs, only to find him in the “Catcher’s” position doing his business.  I have to say with all my voice strength, I let him know I was extremely dissatisfied with his activity at hand and quickly ushered him to the back yard.  He must have understood that we poop outside because from that day on, he poops outside.  Good Boy Hogan.  Peeing was a different story.  He once peed on D-Train’s foot. Good Boy Hogan.  I’m rambling.

I know I promised some fun Canadian adventures – they’re coming.  I thought I’d give everyone a vacation from my vacationing and provide a different topic for once.  Thanks to Devin for his last blog – I received some positive feedback on it.

Speaking of D-Train – also known as Danny-D to some or Dr. Nugget by others – I was recently catching up on his website, CravingBagels.com, and happened to stumble upon an excerpt he wrote about Miss King, his “lady friend” as he calls her.  They’re married.  Anyway, this excerpt is about how she is the most finicky eater he knows.  He mentions that she has different characteristics that make her finicky.  These are the one’s that stuck out to me:

• She likes her hamburgers plain.  Except at Effie Burger in Lewiston, ID, home of the largest gut bomb burger in the entire world.  You have to understand that for someone to not like anything on their burger, especially when it is a basic burger, and then to want EVERYTHING on her Effie Burger, it is pretty contradictory.  That’s like saying I don’t like dogs with hair, but then your favorite dog is an Old English Sheep Dog.
• There are certain foods she’ll only eat if D-Train cooks them.  If he cooks it too often, it’s ruined and she’ll never eat it again.
• She can taste “spiciness” in everything – even things with no spice in it.  For instance, she can taste spices in bottled water.
• She hate’s meat on the bone.

There’s too many to mention, but I thought, how hard to date?  It’s a wonder they made it solely on the basis that dating had to have been a struggle.  As I was reading this in the beginning, I kept thinking, what a freakshow. But, as I started finishing the story, I began to realize that I am also a very picky eater.  Just the other night, The Wife and I met her friend Sasha and her “not her boyfriend” boyfriend at Cafe Marron.  Cafe Marron is the cool little restaurant in Browne’s Addition in Spokane, a quaint, hip neighborhood.  This restaurant is really cool – it’s all reclaimed wood from barns and other buildings.  The windows are garage doors that are opened in the summer.  The chairs are school chairs.  The food is really good.  The first time we went there, they had this awesome Au Gratin Mac N’ Cheese.  It was TDF (To Die For – I had to make it an acronym because Ronnie Drama hated that phrase).  That was back in February or March during an International Date Night.  The next time, we went there with The SchreTters and low and behold – no Au Gratin Mac N’ Cheese.  I was tre’ disappointed.  So, I ordered this new dish – some sort of ToFu Stir Fry – again, slam dunk and TDF.  So, this last weekend, we met Sasha and her “not her boyfriend” boyfriend there and wouldn’t you believe it.  Not only was the Au Gratin Mac N’ Cheese not on the menu, but neither was the ToFu Stir Fry.  I was again let down.  This time, I spent the better part of 30 mintues mulling over the menu before reluctantly deciding on the hamburger.  I love hamburgers – my favorite food, but I’d had my World Famous Sliders, Canadian McDonald’s, Wendy’s and another burger within about 5 days.  It was just too much and there was nothing else appetizing.  You see, its rare that I pick up a menu that has multiple items I’d want.  Most of the time when we go to a place for the first time, I’m nervous they won’t have something I like.  I almost always find something and then every time we return, I order the same thing.

Brian - Pronghorn Antelope

I totally agree with her on the Meat on a bone thing.  I have a real hard time with it.  I think it’s because I have trouble eating things that I’ve seen moving.  At least when you buy a steak or hamburger meat, it’s processed to the point where it isn’t really recognizable.  I guess for me, the bone is a grim reminder to me of what I’m eating.  A leg, a rib, something like that.  At least when I eat a ribeye, I have no idea where on the cow it came from.  But I have trouble with it.  I’ll go fishing and then I have to leave the room when it’s being prepared so I won’t associate dinner with what I just caught.  Last year, I went hunting in Wyoming with The Big Guy, SoupUncle and his nephew.  I shot a Pronghorn Antelope and had it butchered and brought home the meat.  I also had the head mounted for the Office.  Why not, right?  I even named my Antelope.  Brian.  The problem with naming him Brian is that I already have issues with animal to food association.  Here I am, struggling to eat something I killed, and then I keep thinking of his name.  This makes it worse.  When I finally do get the mounted head, I’ll probably never be able to eat in the Office again.

This food issue has been tough since I was a kid.  I hate when my food touches.  I hate soggy bread.  You name it, I’m freakish about it.  I don’t think I would have done well with the Donner Party.  Well maybe, but only if the following occurred:

1. I visited the Donner Party – not traveled with them.  I couldn’t have any previous knowledge of people within the Donner Party who now account for empty seats at the table.
2. Everything would have to be cooked fresh and clean – I’m a germaphobe to the core.
3. Everything would have to be processed – if it looks like Barry, then I’m going to feel like I’m eating Barry.  If it’s processed like Bologna or String Cheese, then I’d be more likely to eat it with no remorse.
4. If everything could be packaged, that would be great.  Barry with Triscuits and Tillamook Cheese would be nice.  It would be even better if they could package Barry as a Lunchable.

New Barry ABBA Flavor

To read D-Train‘s Article, visit http://cravingbagels.com/?page_id=1498 – Good laughs for sure.  Don’t read too much or you’ll blow about 2 hours to about 6 days of non-stop reading and laughter.  Big Ups to “The Greatest Blogger of All Time!”

Saturday
After a 6 hour flight from Seattle to Kona Airport, we arrived.  Robyn & Devin we’re to arrive about an hour and a half before and get the car rental.  When we arrived, we couldn’t find them.  My cellphone wasn’t working {Frerking (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) AT&T and their service} and The Wife couldn’t get them on the phone – straight to voicemail.  After about 45 minutes of beating my phone on the baggage claim conveyer belt and then restarting it, we found out that their flight was delayed in San Franisco because the cargo door on the plane wouldn’t shut.  I’ll bet it was just a seat belt caught in the door that no one saw.  Trying to be ahead of the game and being that Devin was behind schedule because of his “seat belt” incident, I decided to pick up the rental car.  I tried to rent the car from National Car Rental, but since my name wasn’t Devin and I wasn’t an Emerald Member, they showed me the door – to the bus back to the airport.  The driver laughed at me.

When Robyn and Devin finally got in 2 hours later, we were finally on our way.  Well, sort of.  We had planned on going to Costco on the way to our condo.  If you’ve ever been to Hawai’i, you’ll realize that there are only 4 rental cars to choose from (Ronnie Drama warned me of this): a Mustang Convertible, a Jeep Wrangler, a Chevy Malibu or a Chevy Impala.  That’s it.  Lucky, Devin’s Emerald Membership scored him an upgrade: the Chevy Impala.  I only say luckily, because we had 4 golf bags, The Wife’s giant suitcase (that is always over weight and we always have to move items from it into another bag), two duffel bags, one computer bag, The Wife’s Coach Old Lady Purse (which carries everything that wouldn’t fit in the giant suitcase), two purses and my leather travel set (Johnston and Murphy laptop case and carry on suitcase that I bought because I wanted to be like Scott Robertson).  Here’s what fit in the trunk: The wife’s giant suitcase.  The rest of the luggage was strategically placed in the car and we sat indian style on bags all the way to the condo – we decided to go to Costco later as we didn’t have room for groceries with all the luggage.  After a run to  Costco we stopped back by the condo and then headed to LuLu’s.  It’s a nice restaurant – kind of a college style place that you know gets really crazy on weekends and holidays.  I had a Hawaiian Chicken Burger and it was delightful.

LuLu's Fine Dining

We then headed over to the Mauna Kea Resort for the best brunch buffet I’ve ever eaten.  It was amazing – $50 a person and we ate like kings.  Devin at about $100 worth of sushi – to the point that the sushi chef was making custom orders for him.  He didn’t even eat fish before the trip.  After brunch, we headed down to the beach at the Mauna Kea Resort.  Amazing beach – great waves for body surfing, lots of people watching, good frisbee tossing.  After frying ourselves there, we headed back to the condo and started dinner – my famous, secret Sliders.  As I brought the burgers in from the grill, I saw a look of horror on the girl’s faces – something had gotten into our Hawaiian Sweet Rolls and had eaten half of one, foil pan and all.  They were so grossed out that I don’t think my Sliders were a very big hit.  We later found out that the short 2 minute stay on the front stairs was all a mongoose needed to grab a bite before the rolls were taken into the condo.  Too bad we found that out after we called maintenance and had them set some traps.    When we grabbed the Tillamook Cheddar Cheese from Safeway, it was moldy.  Apparently, I missed the gaping whole in the package.  No wonder it was the last one.  My bad.

Mauna Kea Beach

Monday
After some exploration of the area on foot, we headed over to the Makalai Golf Club to play our first of two days of golf.  I hadn’t played in a year and a half, so I didn’t play so well.  It’s a beautiful course, very tropical.  There were peacocks everywhere and one time, when The Wife was swinging, one whistled at her like a construction worker.  The course is really amazing – it’s on the mountainside so you’re either teeing uphill or down.  After golf, we stopped at The Kona Brewing Company.  They make some great beers – The Longboard Lager, Wailua Wheat and Big Wave are my favorites.  I also had the Fire Rock Pale Ale which I’m not a huge fan of, but it was good.  Pizzas and beer after golf, not a bad way to go!

Makalei Golf Club

Kona Brewing Company

Tuesday
With a full day ahead of us, we went for a drive to the north side of the island.  We drove through Waimea which is a cool little town.  If you head north of Waimea, the road ends at a valley called Waipi’o.  It’s absolutely breathtaking.  As I sat and gazed over the edge of the cliff, down about 1,000 feet at the valley floor and the lava beach below, I heard Devin come out of the bathroom and say, “144.”  The Wife asked for clarification and he replied “144 people were raped and murdered in that bathroom.”  The beautiful view was soon clouded by the water in my eyes from laughing so hard.  After leaving the viewpoint, we headed back to Kona and stopped at Hapuna Beach, just north of Kona.  Again, great beach, very similar to Mauna Kea Resort beach.  Lots of people, lots of body surfing.  The waves started getting big there and I wished I had a surfboard – and that I knew how to surf.  We left Hapuna Beach and headed over to the Hilton Resort.  Woah – that’s a big place.  They have a tram that travels around the property.  There’s a huge lagoon in the middle and pools everywhere.  You can even swim with dolphins.  Next, we headed over to the Merrimans Market Cafe for some dinner.  We ordered some Mai Tai’s and hummus.  Good stuff.  With a limited menu, we then headed over to the Kona Inn Restaurant for some fish.  I had the Mahi Mahi, The Wife had Ahi, Devin had blackened Ahi, and Robyn had some stuffed tasty fish.  Great restaurant, great service, though I did feel a little bad because our server had a lithp and I quoted Sean Aston’s character from 50 First Dates, not realizing the server was behind me.  Me and my damn inappropriate mouth!

Waipi'o Valley

Wednesday
Devin and I went over to the Kona Country Club and hit some balls while the girls headed over to The Kona Farmers Market, which they thoroughly enjoyed.  They would have bought pineapples there, but we bought 3 when we shopped on Saturday.  Good old Costco – putting the farmers out of business.  After a hiatus at the pool, we headed over and played The Ocean Course at Kona Country Club.  It was a nice little course.  It was no Makalai Golf Club, but was still nice.  Much flatter.  I played significantly better.  The Ocean Course is a little deceiving as there are only technically 3 or 4 holes actually on the ocean.  The rest are surrounded by condos. It didn’t bother me…I liked it anyway.  After golf, we headed back to the condo, did some pool time and grilled up the steaks we bought at Costco with my famous, secret steak recipe.  The Mongoose^TM did not eat those.  We did have quite a few margaritas and I believe there may have been some pictures taken of a couple of dudes climbing on the lava rock by the ocean.

Kona Country Club

Thursday
I’m not going to cover this day for two reasons:

1. This post is getting absurdly long
2. Devin is going to write about our Thursday Adventures as my new guest blogger.

Friday
We began our day at Lava Java, a quaint little breakfast joint in Kona.  Breakfast there is AWESOME!  I had the 18 Wheeler, even though it wasn’t on the menu (I ordered it at some restaurant once, don’t remember the name).  Our last day together as Robyn and Devin were to head back to the Main Land, we decided to beach it.  There were two beaches to choose from – one was a short drive from the main road and about a 15 minute walk, the other was a longer, rough road drive and about a 5 minute walk.  We opted for the shorter walk.  The beach is called Mahaiula Beach and you have to take a road that us pretty unkept.  We were behind a Dodge mini-truck and the driver was acting like it was a really technical road.  It seemed like it took forever to get there.  Once we arrived, we hiked in with 4 chairs, two beach bags and looked like total tourists.  We fit right in, because so did everyone else.  Now this beach was really pretty, but it was a pretty heavy slope.  The water was sitting on a lava bed, so it was very difficult to manuever, plus it sloped so much, you couldn’t really go very much body surfing.  It was pretty breathtaking though, so we didn’t complain.  Afterward, we headed back to the condo and swam for a short stint, then headed to Costco for some gifts to take back and then round 2 at LuLu’s.  The Wife and I weren’t that hungry so we split an apertief.  After taking Robyn and Devin to the airport, we went back to Kona and ate a late dinner at Huggo’s.  It was really nice – seaside, it was actually situated over the ocean.  There were wave crashing right up to the rocks below our table.  Really romantic as you can guess, we headed back to the condo and called it a night.  That’s right folks, a nice romantic dinner and then we passed out cold.  Welcome to married life!

Mahaiula Beach

Saturday:
After waking up and heading over to Lava Java for breakfast, I scoured Kona for a Volcom T-Shirt I really wanted, but World Core Surf Shop didn’t have in a large.  Of course, Robyn and Devin are perfect human specimens that fit into EVERYTHING, and wouldn’t you know, they had the shirt in a medium and he bought it.  I think he did it to get under my skin.  I think this because he wore it 3 times during the trip.  Damn World Core.  We didn’t find the shirt and had to head to the airport.  That was the last I saw of Kona, other than the occaisional websearch trip down memory lane because we didn’t bring camera chargers so we have no photos!

My Volcom T-Shirt that Devin Snagged

There are other things that I really miss.  Customer Service is so bad in Las Vegas that I found myself enjoying using kiosks to make some of my purchases.  If you go to The Home Depot or Lowes (I love you Gene Hackman) or any grocery store…even the Post Office, you don’t ever have to talk to anyone.  You can use the kiosk and do the old self service gig.  I loved it.  When we moved to Spokane, I really realized how much I loved the kiosk idea.  One day, I went into the Post Office to mail something to Tiff & TroyBoy and was met by the rudest postal worker.  I’ve had some pretty bad service at the Post Office in the past, but this guy Steve at the 57th & Regal Post Office was a real Frerking (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) piece of work.  I was paying for my purchase and he told me that I needed to sign my credit card.  I told him I didn’t ever sign the backs of my cards because it prompts them to ask for ID.  He told me that the Post Office didn’t accept unsigned cards.  I quickly wrote “See ID” on the back of the card because a long line was starting to form.  Of course, a long line was of no concern to him because he  then responded letting me know he wouldn’t accept it because it wasn’t signed.  After a verbal battle, I reluctantly agreed “See ID” was not in fact a valid signature and therefore I signed it with a violent scratch followed by my promptly asking to see his supervisor.  Boy, I was going to show him!  As he left to grab the guy, I quickly realized as I scanned the crowd that not only was this going to be a a waste of my own time, but the crowd was starting to reach for their lynching gear and wait for me in the parking lot.  I quickly & quietly ducked out the door before the supervisor arrived and the lynching ensued.  I’m rambling.

I’ve also noticed since we moved that some of life’s conveniences aren’t available either.  Especially at Albertson’s.  I like this flavored water called Clear Excellence.  They make a really good Blackberry Apple flavor, but I found that when we moved, the Albertson’s in Spokane doesn’t carry it.  It’s an Albertson’s brand.  How do they not carry it?  I asked about 20 people that worked there if they could get it in and they finally put me in front of the stocking manager.  She told me they don’t make it anymore…I don’t believe her.

This past weekend, we decided to host part of a young adults group from our church at our house.  It was an interesting concept – a “progressive” dinner.  The group starts at one house for appetizers, then moves onto the next place for a small dinner, then the next place for the other part of dinner, then onto a final house for dessert.  We pulled the appetizers card, so The Wife and I decided we’d do the following:

• Caprese Salad – mozzarella cheese chunks with Roma tomatoes & basil, topped with Red Dog Vinegar.  Red Dog Vinegar was a Walla Walla Red Wine that The Big Guy made into vinegar.  I thought is was a pretty strange project, but it ended up being AWESOME!  One Point – The Big Guy.
• Hummus with Crackers and Carrots.  I spent a ton of time picking out red, green, yellow and orange peppers, only to find that we didn’t use them.
• Crostini’s with some sort of Feta Cheese mix (The Wife is guarding the recipe – sorry!)
• Fruit Skewers with Watermelon, Pineapple, Grapes & Strawberries.

The last item on the list was an interesting recipe I found in the Giadas Kitchen Cookbook.  She’s so hot.  I decided I’d make it.

I headed over to Albertson’s, running late as usual, and found all of the items on the shopping list.  In true Albertson’s fashion, though, I was completely unable to locate the most important Crostata with Apples, Walnuts, and Gorgonzola recipe ingredient – Mascarpone Cheese.  I didn’t even know what Mascarpone Cheese Frerking was.  And, much to my surprise, neither did anyone that worked for Albertson’s.  After asking for help, this mess of a deli girl and I scoured the shelves.  No luck.

So what do you do in this situation?  It’s 4:00 PM people are showing up at 6:00 PM.  Do you scrap it and go home with what you have?  Frerking no way man!  Giada’s way too hot for that lack of effort.  What you do is high tail it to Rocket Market and hope that they have it.  Much to my relief, they did and I made it home managing to prepare the appetizer in record time.  Just as the company arrived, we were pulling it out of the oven.

Question for Albertson’s: What’s it going to take to get my Blackberry Apple water?

My Girl, Giada’s, Crostata with Apples, Walnuts, and Gorgonzola Recipe (Thanks Babe!)

Giada Delaurentiis - Food Hottie

(see a similar recipe on the Food Network)

Ingredients

For the Pastry:

• 1 ½ cups all purpose flour
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 3 tablespoons cold, unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
• ½ cup Mascarpone Cheese
• 1 ½ tablespoons lemon juice
• 3 tablespoons ice water
• 1 tablespoon sugar (added along with the dry ingredients, chilled)
• 1 large egg, lightly beaten

For the Filling:

• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 4 small Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and cut into ¼ inch slices
• ¼ cup sugar
• ¾ teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
• ½ cup chopped walnuts
• 1/3 cup crumbled Gorgonzola cheese

Directions

For the crust: In a food processor combine the flour, salt, and sugar, and pulse to combine. Add the butter and pulse until the butter is finely chopped and the mixture resembles coarse meal. Add the Mascarpone and lemon juice and pulse a few times. Add the ice water and run the machine just until the mixture is moist and crumbly, but do not form a ball¹. Roll the dough out onto a sheet of plastic wrap and press into a disk. Wrap the dough tightly and refrigerate for 20 minutes.

For the apple filling: Melt the butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add the apple slices, sugar, and cinnamon and cook, stirring frequently, for 5 minutes, until the apples are softened but not mushy. Set aside to cool for 10 minutes. Stir in the lemon juice and zest, walnuts, and Gorgonzola cheese.

Place on an oven rack in the lower third of the oven and reheat the oven to 400.

Unwrap the chilled dough and place it on a sheet of parchment paper. Roll the dough into an 11-inch circle, about ¼ inch thick.  Lift the parchment paper and transfer it and the dough to the baking sheet².

Spread the cooled apple filling in the center of the dough circle, leaving a 2-inch border. Fold the dough border up over the filling to form an 8-inch round, pleating the edge of the pastry³. Brush the crust with the beaten egg.

Bake the crostata until the crust is golden, about 25 minutes. Cool on the baking sheet for 10 minutes before slicing. Makes 4 servings.

¹Giada means this.  Do not form a ball. I did and it made it difficult to add the sugar when I realized I’d forgotten to add it.  I sprinkled it on top at the end before baking it and that made everything A-OK.

²I don’t know what parchment paper is, nor did we have it.  I went ahead and used wax paper.  NOTE: Don’t put the wax paper in the oven.  It smokes up the house.

³If you are a little out of the loop like I was on what exactly it means to pleat the dough, I can’t help you.  I finally handed that part over to The Wife for finishing touches.

So, working from home has it’s benefits.  Like for instance, on Wednesday, I was able to cut out a little early (4:30) from the office and make my way to the kitchen and start dinner – it was our turn at Wednesday Soup Night.  It was awesome.  The Wife decided that Matrimonio I-Taliano Soupa was the way to go.  Now, a couple weeks ago, I mastered Mamma J’s Soupe à l’oignon gratinée so I thought I would give this one a shot.  It was an interesting recipe.  You have to make these crazy little meatballs and then you throw them into a chicken broth based soup and cook it for about 10 – 20 minutes.  It was awesome.  So I hear.  The attendee’s said it was really good.

One of the joys of working at home is that you can easily service your clientele because everything you need is there.  One of my clients, R+W Advertising was re-launching their website the next morning and needed some last minute assistance.  As this is pretty typical on the eve of any website launch, I was on it ASAP to do what I do best!  This new site is an interesting concept.  There’s this idea called Web 2.0 that is this perceived second generation of the web.  It’s centered around mass communication and utilizes Social Networking on the Internet to facilitate it.  So, being the innovative guy that Scott Robertson is, he and his team re-designed their site around this Web 2.0 concept.  Check out the new Web 2.0 RW-Live.com website to see more about it!  Now, what does this have to do with Matrimonio I-Taliano Soupa?  Nothing, but it was a great lead in to plug my friend’s website and make you more interested!  As for the soup, I was busy assisting with the launch of the RW-Live.com website, so I didn’t taste it until later.  Let me tell you – it was Frerking Amazing! (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) And, I’m not a fan of reheated food, but it was really good reheated the next day, unlike the  Mamma J’s Soupe à l’oignon gratinée which doesn’t seem to reheat very well.  I can’t post the Mamma J’s Soupe à l’oignon gratinée because it is some crazy family historical recipe that goes back to the old days in Orofino, ID, but I’ve added the recipe for the Matrimonio I-Taliano Soupa below, so ENJOY!

Oh, and for the various readers that feel they’re perverted because the two apples make them think of a pair of Great Big Old…you are correct, that’s why I went with them.

My Girl, Giada’s, Matrimonio I-Taliano Soupa Recipe (Thanks Babe!)

Giada Delaurentiis - Food Hottie

(see it on the Food Network)

Ingredients

Meatballs:

• 1 small onion, grated
• 1/3 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley
• 1 large egg
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 slice fresh white bread¹, crust trimmed, bread torn into small pieces
• ½ cup grated Parmesan
• 8 ounces ground beef
• 8 ounces ground pork
• Freshly ground black pepper

Soup:

• 12 cups low-sodium chicken broth
• 1 pound curly endive, coarsely chopped (1 pound of escarole² would be a good substitution)
• 2 large eggs
• 2 tablespoon freshly grated Parmesan, plus extra for garnish
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Directions

To make the meatballs: Stir the first 6 ingredients in a large bowl to blend. Stir in the cheese, beef and pork. Using 1 ½ teaspoons for each, shape the meat mixture into 1-inch-diameter meatballs. Place on a baking sheet³.

To make the soup: Bring the broth to a boil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add the meatballs and curly endive and simmer until the meatballs are cooked through and the curly endive is tender, about 8 minutes. Whisk the eggs and cheese in a medium bowl to blend. Stir the soup in a circular motion. Gradually drizzle the egg mixture into the moving broth, stirring gently with a fork to form thin stands of egg, about 1 minute. Season the soup to taste with salt and pepper.

Ladle the soup into bowls and serve. Finish soup with parmesan cheese if desired.

Now, Giada missed the Pasta part – but use orzo or what was next to orzo at Alberton’s – looks like little balls.  I used the whole box – way too much.  I’d use half, but use as much ash you’d like!

¹I didn’t have White Bread because Babs never allowed it in the house. I did have Texas Toast from breakfast The Wife made for Liberty Wright (She’s Single Boys!) on her birthday, so I used that instead of the Wheat Bread that Babs still makes me eat.

²Albertsons, like my favorite Blackberry Apple Clear Excellence Water, didn’t have Endive either, so we went with Escarole – whatever, I don’t think it matters. It’s all basically lettuce, I think.

³I’m just warning you – it helps to have a sous chef like The gUrt because this is the messy part!

While we were attending FPC last month, we read in their little program they hand out that they were sponsoring a 10 evening event they labeled “10 International Dates”.  Of course, this grabbed both of our attention because we are oh so worldly, even though the farthest we have traveled is Cabo San Lucas, of which I hardly consider “worldly” because its so Americanized!  Should that be capitalized?  Anyway ironically, we both read this and said, “Lets do this!”  However, after re-reading the description, we both realized it was INTENTIONAL dates, not INTERNATIONAL.  Woops.  Which is funny, actually, because I wouldn’t have thought Spokane to be this mecca of international cuisine.

We decided to do this thing – 10 evenings in all, every other week.  It’s INTENTIONAL because you are making a point to do this.  We’re making it INTERNATIONAL because we figured it’d be fun.  You go to the church for 20 minutes and this guy speaks – who is totally hilarious by the way – he’s sarcastic and you can tell he has a somewhat sick sense of humor.  He jokes about his wife a lot, which I always appreciate.  Anyway, then he dismisses you and you have to go on your date and read a chapter in this book they give you, then in the back, there is a 2 page worksheet you fill out based on the topic of the chapter.  It’s all real interesting…delving into one’s marital life.  I think its pretty interesting, especially since we’ve only been married for a year and a half and I feel like we’re already “working” on our marriage.  Actually, I am quite enjoying it.

All that was back story to give you a great story about what transpired last night.  So, we’ve just left the church and The Wife is driving downtown, trying to find a parking spot.  We were just getting along delightfully when all of a sudden, someone let out the monster.  Tension started building for some reason and by the time we got to the restaurant “360″ and thought we’d look at the menu, we were about to strangle each other.  While I’m engulfed in this menu reading, I see that they have the Monte Cristo Sandwich – OH YEAH BABY!  So I head for the door only to be pulled abruptly by the love of my life who proceeds to start yelling at me about how I’m not very attentive because I didn’t see the sign on the door that say enter through the Hotel Luzzo Lobby and as she drags me down the street, she gives me some lecture about how I am missing out on life because I don’t notice things.  She should be a CIA Agent – she notices EVERYTHING!

As we’re entering the hotel, we’re now softly screaming at each other so no one notices we’re at each other’s throats.  We walk down the corridor to the restaurant and she says, “Stop, lets talk about this”.  The gorilla in me brushes past her and walks right up the the hostess and answers “2 please” to her question.  Of course, I’m thinking “two tables please?”.  So we sit down and start thumbing through the menus and somehow sweep our little battle under the rug and I notice something on the menu – no Monte Cristo.  “Frerking (big ups to The Greatest Vet of All Time, Dr. Thad Frerking) dangit, now I just want to eat McDonalds.”  After ordering 2 burgers and Clam Chowder Soup (which was outstanding!), we decide to open our 10 Great Dates book and do our homework.

What’s the topic tonight? Conflict Resolution.  Frerking Perfect.

10 Great Dates to keep her from kicking you to the curb and dating that professional basketball player